On Simplicity

It’s been a fantastic holiday, and I’m quite excited to see what the next year has in store for me, for you, and for the world.  If you’re ready to make 2009 as simple and satisfying as possible, I’m right there with you!

Thanks for sticking around, and I’ll be back with fresh posts this week!

Again, happy new year and thanks for reading.

photo credit: =MR+G=

Family: is “a blessing and a curse” too strong? Perhaps. As wonderful as it is to spend time with family during the holidays (I’m so excited to see everyone!), it can also create a lot of tension.  “Are you seeing anybody?” “When are you going to have a baby already?” and all manner of awkward questions can set your nerves on edge. In the interests of enjoying your holiday time instead of stressing, consider these ways to embrace family and your time together. (Hey, someone’s got to put the “fun” in dysfunctional, right?)

1. Surrender to the moment. If you’re committed to spending a certain amount of time with family (or any group), embrace it. Turn off the phone and ignore incoming texts. When you make an effort to enjoy yourself, there’s a  good chance you’ll succeed.
2. Find a way to help out. Some of the best times you can have are helping in the kitchen. If you’ve never met a meal you couldn’t burn, consider helping with the clean-up.
3. Get out the photo albums and share stories. You may be surprised at what others remember that you’ve long since forgotten. Or, bring new pics to show everyone. (If you can keep it to a couple dozen, you’re golden.)
4. Bring a treat you can’t wait to share. From a new cookie to a great bottle of wine, sharing something you love with people you love is a great mix.
5. Enjoy your traditions, no matter how long ago you outgrew them.
6. Take a family picture.
7. Skip the small talk and actually catch up with everyone’s current interests and goings-on.
8. Get into the game. If you’ve always resisted watching the game on TV but everyone else loves it, give it a try. It can be more fun than you might imagine.
9. Bring a few interesting stories to the table. These aren’t strangers, they’re friends and family. If someone asks you how things are going, they’re not looking for “fine” as an answer.
10. Spend the day like you’re at the kids’ table; everyone knows you have more fun throwing rolls and having chugging contests than comparing how far down your portfolios are. In other words, make the moment fun for someone else.

And if you’re spending the day away from those you love, know that they’re thinking of you. Give someone you love a call and enjoy those you’re with.  Best wishes for a happy and healthy holiday!

Take a few seconds and think back on your favorite moments. Are you thinking about doing something in those moments, or are you actually doing something?  There’s a really good chance that in your most prized experiences, you’re doing, not just thinking about doing.

That’s one huge reason why learning how to stay in the moment is so important. While it’s true that anticipation is one of the best parts of life, your most treasured times are those lived fully in the moment.  Often (but not always), your most memorable experiences—the ones that stand out from all the others—are those when you’re caught up in the moment, while the time spent planning ahead or reminiscing about the past are mostly forgotten.

Four Paths to Staying in the Moment

There’s more than one way to experience moments of flow, but here are four of the simplest:

1. Practice a gentle form of meditation. Say you’re in the middle of a fun or unique experience, and all of the sudden, you’re wondering whether you remembered to lock the door. Or feed the dog. Or how to ask your boss for a raise. You’re letting your mind take you out of the experience. Don’t worry. Just bring your mind to back to what’s going on right now. Each time your mind wanders, just bring it back gently, without worrying about why you’re not staying focused.

2.  Set yourself up for moments worth remembering. It’s hard not to live in the moment when you’re experiencing something novel, exciting, or simply breathtaking. So practice creating these moments for yourself. Take the scenic sundown walk, go snowboarding after the next big snow, or head out for a night of fun with friends.

3.  Focus on the five senses. Take a deep breath. What does the moment smell like? What sounds do you hear? What do you feel on your skin? These are the details that make each moment special. When you can’t stop the interior monologue from intruding, take a minute or two to create a mental catalog of what this moment feels, smells, looks, sounds, and tastes like for you. It can be a pretty effective way of quelling that inner voice, and at the very least, gives you a few minutes to savor the moment before returning to what’s on your mind.

4.  Try journal writing. This is one way to get out of meta-thinking (thinking about thinking). By giving yourself an allotted time each day to reflect on the previous hours, you can think all those lovely deep thoughts without trying to mentally record them in your head as they happen. You’re free to experience the moment now, and reflect on it later.

Moment Killers: Watch Out For…

• Trying to hard to record a moment. Working too hard to “capture” a moment can, in effect, kill it. Whether you’re trying to find the perfect words to describe how you feel or scrambling to capture a photo for Facebook documentation, it’s can be counterproductive.  Truly great moments don’t have to be recorded for you to remember them. Enjoy it for what it’s worth and be willing to let it go when it’s done.
• Worrying. Guess what? Unless you can take action, worrying won’t get you anymore. It’s human nature to worry, but try not to be a slave to worrywart-ism (a serious challenge for me!). I don’t think you can totally axe worry and concern, but you can accept that you’ve made a choice to act or not to act, and that you’ll deal with the consequences later.

It’s time to hear your views! How do you live in the moment? Are there times when it’s important not to live the moment?

Family gatherings approach, with awkward conversations and blissful moments coming in equal measures.  It also means it’s time to break out the games! It simply wouldn’t be a holiday in my family without the sound of plastic cups slamming down on hardwood boards and moans of “Aarrggh! You’re so mean!” and whispers of, “Hey, you should probably knock her off.  She’s got two in home.”

So for those of you who are game players and those of who would like to take a crack at it, take a moment to share your top three family games (of any sort, variety, or type).

For me, the first one, at least, is a gimme:

1. Aggravation. This marble race board game gives everyone a chance to be viciously cruel and as well as uncharacteristically merciful. It’s how I learned to be good sport, and how I learned that shortcuts often have strings attached. (And for the record, the cardboard version in the store is way less fun than playing on a hand-carved wooden 4-player board.)

2. Uno. It’s fast, it’s easy to learn, and you can play in giant groups (no matter what the box says). One of my favorite pics from childhood is me playing Uno with my mom. I have a gleeful smile on my face. Look closely at the cards, and you can see that I just made my mom draw four. Sweet, sweet victory! [Nerdy Confession #4: I own *NSync Uno...]

3. Guillotine. Strategy, intrigue, and cold-blooded murder set in the French Revolution. What better way for families to bond?

Honorable mention:

• Fluxx. Just when you think you’ve got what you need to win, someone changes the rules and sends you back to the beginning. This one gets a special nod for letting players go in and out of the game at will without disturbing gameplay.
• Barbie: Queen of the Prom. This 1961 game is a hoot (reproduction copies are the way to go), and gets appropriately cutthroat. Bonus points to all male players who fight for Ken.

Okay, I really want to hear what kinds of games are your favorites, so please advance to Go and leave your comments in the Free Parking zone!

photo credit: BigTallGuy

It’s easy to get caught up in your own world of schedules and whirlwind this time of year. One of the most helpful things to do can be to open up to a different perspective. So much great advice has been shared in the comments lately that I wanted to highlight some of the suggestions that have been given by readers and shared around the Web. And, of course, if you have any more insights, tips, or ideas to share with the rest of us, please keep the discussion going in the comments!

And if you need more holiday goodies, check out these stocking stuffers from The Life Skills Network:

Simplify Your Holidays in 3 Easy Steps: My Dollar Plan

Crappy Economy = Best Christmas Ever!: My Super Charged Life

3 Ways to Simplify Your Christmas: The Wisdom Journal

The Top of Your Holiday To-Do List: Breathe: Simple Mom

1. Write a heartfelt letter that lets them know how much they mean to you. And send it via physical mail! –Simple Sapien
2. When we were first married before kids, we always had “tree appreciation.” I would get the tree all decked out and then we’d snuggle on the couch with all the lights off and just enjoy the festive tree lights and talk. –Anne
3. We would have a surprise “Jammie Run.” We put the little ones to bed and then come back into their room and yell “Jammie Run.” We all pile into a warm car with blankets and hot chocolate and then go drive around and see the lights. The kids always knew it would happen, but never exactly when, so it was fun to see what night it would happen. –Denise
4. Every night I read a different Christmas themed book to the kids. –Robin
5. We always reserve Christmas morning for ourselves. We get up, make waffles & coffee and watch vintage James Bond in our pj’s all day. –Susy
6. Create your own set of Angel Cards. These cards are made out of plain que cards, any size you choose. Each card has a word on it and you color and draw any way you like on each card… Love, Simplicity, Sincere, Helpful, Music, Creative, Joy, Abundance, Truth, Happiness, Honesty, Letting Go, Dance, Heaven… The beautiful part is that the person has this set of cards and they can shuffle them and pick a card and smile.  –Ocean
7. A turkey sandwich breakfast… Everyone makes food (cheese trays and stuff) the day before… and everyone nibbles all day long. –Korta
8. Shop online: I know exactly what I want and usually can get it on the internet. It may not (or may) save me any money, but it certainly saves me time and protects me from the potential of Christmas time commercial overload. –Adam Steer
9. This year we are all about sharing experiences instead of purchasing a lot of gifts. –Stacey
10. Christmas cards. As we put together our Christmas card list, it’s wonderful to think of the many people who have touched our lives this year. –Beth NC
11. I made mix CDs for all my friends and family. It was very, very cheap and ten years later my folks still whip out the CDs during the holidays. –Bellesouth
12. We count back 12 days from the Saturday before they have to fly out and start our Christmas then. One present for each day… On the last night we open anything extra and a card with money in it. The next day we all go shopping together, have a very special dinner out and enjoy each other’s company. –Dee
13. The Christmas Eve walk. Every year my wife and I go for a walk about an hour or so after dinner on Christmas Eve. The destination is not important, but the fresh crisp air, and hopefully, and open sky for stargazing is a great time to reflect on all that you’re thankful for. –Time Tracker
14. My friends and I don’t exchange gifts, instead we gather for a games night & potluck in mid-December. –Looby
15. My favorite gift for bosses, co-workers, aquaintances, etc, is cookies. I bake two or three types of cookies, which I would be making anyway, in double batches. I package up half a dozen cookies in a hand decorated paper bag. It is pretty easy to do and it makes a nice personalized treat. –Jill
16. For my out of town friends, we’ll be setting time aside to visit over the telephone and reminisce about all the great times we’ve shared. –Barbara Swafford
17. My grandmother has always gotten the grandchildren together to make pies and cookies for the holidays (sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas). –Jen E
18. My son and I make homemade ornaments together to give out to everyone. It’s inexpensive and fun for us. –Rebecca
19. One of my favourites when I was a little girl was making a string of popcorn to put on the tree. Mom would pop the popcorn and we’d take a needle and thread and string it together. –Davina
20. We don’t just rip [our presents open]; each of us has to open one present telling everybody else who it’s from then showing them what we’ve been given before choosing another gift from under the tree for the next person… That way we feel we make the present opening special, appreciating each gift and given thought to the person who it’s from. –Sharon J
21. On Christmas Eve, when everyone goes to sleep, someone will hide a pickle in the Christmas tree. In the morning, whoever finds it is supposed to have good luck in the new year. (And then the next year, they are the hider.) –Adam
22. Every day in December I put up a new decoration. –Robin
23. Since it’s often warm on Christmas day (we live in Southern California) one of our traditions is picking oranges and making fresh-squeezed orange juice. –Sparekitty
24. The youngest person in the house has to ring the Christmas bell that is on the tree to signal that everyone is going to bed, and that Santa can come now. It’s a special thing every year. –Ramona
25. A round of beer has always been a hit for me. –Viriya
26. On Christmas morning we read the story of the Real reason for Christmas out of the Bible. It’s incredibly important to recognize the Reason we celebrate Christmas anyway. –Deb
27. We also plan to start the tradition of a small tree in our son’s room for him like my Dh had as a child. –MelanieSD
28. My family has attended the movies for Christmas day openings. I never go to the movies, so it’s kinda fun getting dressed up and going to see a film with my family. –Squawkfox
29. Each year I get a new ornament that symbolizes something about our year, often from our family vacation. –Val
30. I’ve come up with the perfect gift for family and friends: Gift Certificates for 1 free tech support call. It’s been a major league hit for the past several years.–jrandom42
31. Give free babysitting for baby showers. –Katie
32. Setting up my tree the day after Thanksgiving - it keeps me away from the Black Friday insanity and makes me concentrate on what’s important at Christmas instead. –Jean
33. We then all get together around the table and sit down. One of us gets up, grabs a camera, and has to take a group shot. Next thing you know everybody’s grabbing their cameras and taking pictures. –Mark W.
34. I love Christmas music and love to play it starting right after Thanksgiving. It always puts me in the true spirit of the holiday. –Barbara Swafford
35. For a bit of a twist on giving cookies as gifts, I’ve given a coupon for “A Year of Cookies”. The recipient was entitled to a dozen cookies, each month, for a year. I included a basic checklist of flavours/types so they could narrow down their likes and dislikes. –Leslie
36. Seriously, the first thing that comes into my head when I think of Christmas traditions is bacon sandwiches, and the second thing is smoked salmon croissants…  It’s not Christmas without our bacon sandwiches for breakfast. –Scribbles [Editor's Note: Drool...]
37. The day after Thanksgiving on our way home, we stop at a tree farm, take a hay ride out to the Virginia Pine field and spend a great deal of time searching for the perfect tree, while playing hide and seek among the trees. –Sissy
38. I’ve given gift certificates for massages and facials, and those are always well-received. –Jeri Dansky
39. We made an Advent wreath which we light every night before bed. We say a reading from an Advent book and sing the refrain of O Come O Come Emmanuel. –Sarah
40. We buy each other an ornament and a set of PJ’s and do the same for our kids. Christmas Eve we all get to open our ornaments and hang them on the tree and put on our PJ’s. –Sal
41. His family always does Gingerbread houses sometime before Christmas, we have so much fun with all the boys together. –V Higgins
42. When unwrapping our under-the-tree presents, we’d take turns, starting with the youngest. We’d do lots of guessing (what is it?), peel the paper slowly to build the excitement, and do lots of oohing and aah-ing before the next person would go. It took a couple hours, and we LOVED it. –Julie
43. Throwing roasting chestnuts out into the snow. Stirring marhmallows into our hot cider. Painting sparkles onto our kitchen cabinet doors. –Jannie

photo credit: terren in Virginia